Growing up again with Ahona

Shireen my love, When you will get the chance to read this letter, you might be wondering why your mother addressed you as Shireen here in this blog while she calls you by a different nick name at home. I have revealed that in a different post in this blog, hope you will read to find it out. Do you know that you visited the soil where half of your being belong already when you were growing up inside me? Just look at the following photos. They are a few photos of a ruined, unkempt quarter in Durgapur.  This ruin is the very place where I, your mother, belong. This ruin is on which she had spent her years of adolescence and late adulthood. The soil of this ruin is what she calls her own. In the year 2000, your mother came to this quarter of address CD -111/1, MAMC, V.K. Nagar, along with her parents and brother from another quarter, B1 - 107/2, MAMC, V.K. Nagar. That old quarter is another story, my dear, and your maternal uncle and mother must have alr...

After my daughter was born, we were toying with the idea of keeping a childcare help during the daytime. I was not very convinced. I wanted to do all the chores alone, - washing her clothes, swaddlers, prepare the feeds, feeding her and bathing her. But by the time she completed 2 months, I became pretty exhausted and started hating the chores which I lovingly did before. Not only exhaustion, my health conditions started deteriorating thanks to the long nights spent awake feeding her. Still, I said a 'No' till the time Avik started insisting about keeping a help as I needed to join my office too after a few months. After a few phone calls, I was told by an agency that they are going to send a person for the designated work. Next day, a lady came. I explained her the chores needed to be done. She took charge. Now, I started to supervise her, closely, very very closely. Whenever, she failed in my judgemental eyes, I rebuked her. Over the time, I transformed into a rude dictato...

When I came to know about my conception, I always wanted a girl. Why? I don't know. And I called her Shireen whenever she moved inside. Shireen is the Persian word for sweetness. Yes, she moved whenever I had a sweet or a dessert dish. But, since she saw the world, I don't call her Shireen anymore. I prefer to etch the name in my heart. Every small feeling do not need to get shared or known to others.

When we had to get up during the night to feed her, we disliked it. However, we had to do it for the sake of filling up her tummy so that she can sleep soundly, for a little more time, till the time she pees again and scream for the next feed badly. But, why did we start to miss these sessions badly when she started to sleep for longer hours together without getting up for night feeds? Why? After all, we disliked them so very much. Didn't we? Ohh! Welcome to the growing ups dear parents, we tell ourselves...more such missings are going to happen. :( #parenthoodramblings P.S: The series #parenthoodramblings is totally based on my personal opinion which might be different from the other opinions on parenting. I am here to share my opinion and have no intention to hurt the others on this matter.

I loved to watch short films on YouTube or surf the internet for the sake of updating my knowledge just before I slept. It became kind of an addiction. After my daughter was born, I started to co-sleep and waited till she dozed off to carry on with this regular activity of mine. But, off late, I had been observing that my 3 and 1/2 month old daughter closely watches on whenever I fiddle with my phone during the sleep time. A proverb flashed through my mind, almost instantly, which say, "A child behaves exactly how he or she sees the other elders." Yesternight, I decided to stop watching YouTube or surfing around during the sleep time and I did so without any regret, because, I do not want to raise up an addict. Period. P.S: The series #parenthoodramblings is totally based on my personal opinion which might be different from the other opinions on parenting. I am here to share my opinion and have no intention to hurt the others on this matter.

When 'Edelweiss' becomes the lullaby a person wants to listen from her mother before sleeping.

Yes, I understand that it's a WHO's directive to make breastfeeding of the newborns mandatory and the doctors specially paediatricians along with the various parenting websites are religiously following the directive. They are even going to the extent of glorifying the mothers who can express their breast milk to satiate the hunger of their newborn babies. But, what if a mother cannot express breast milk sufficient enough for her child? Does this make her a bad mother? Accord ing to the websites and the paediatricians, they are bad mothers. Even if they don't declare this openly, they are going to the extent of depressing these helpless mothers by publishing breast milk glorification articles one after the other. What I do not understand is the reason behind this activity. A new mother is already going through a lot of obstacles topped by the baby blues gifted by the C-Section Surgery. What's the point in killing her motivation again? A mother becomes a ...

একজন মা অন‍্য সবার কাছে সবসময়‌ই খারাপ। সন্তানকে মানুষের মত মানুষ তৈরি করার প্রচেষ্টায় যদি সেই মা সবার কাছে খারাপ হন, তবে তাই স‌ই।

Burping a formula fed baby is a different episode altogether. The entire family gets involved and equally worried if the burp doesn't occur. On the other hand, if the baby decides to burp after a lot of patting and pampering, the person who have succeeded in doing so starts considering himself or herself as the hero of the day. 🤣 🤣

Introduced two of my favourite Bangla bands, Moheener Ghoraguli and Chandrabindu to my daughter. She didn't understand anything of course, but kept quiet and listened nevertheless while I unwinded for a while and recollected my college days. 😁 😁

The birth certificate arrived. A glance on the name of the parents section added more responsibilities on the shoulders. The names of the parents we write now will soon be a past. Our future will soon be going to write our names as her parents. Let us be worthy of the name.

Now, this li'l lady of mine seems to possess a biological clock. The clock reminds her when to go upstairs, to the terrace and meet her grandparents, when to cry and demand attention from the people around her, and when to convice her parents, uncles-aunts, grandparents to carry her on their laps and roam around. Moreover, the alarm system of the clock is very efficient and prompt. For, unless you give in to her wishes, the alarm will go on buzzing (read crying).

In this era of painless vaccines, we chose the regular painful ones. We want her to go through the ordeal so that she can understand what pain and suffering is. If we do not allow her to feel pain today, she won't understand the value of the state of good health, happiness and muster her strength later on. There is a big, bad world which awaits her and she should fight all her way to defy it. More power to her!

When some of your daily activities get fast forwarded while the ones involving the kid gets slowed down...priority has always been the ruler of everyone's lives.

2:45 AM. Somebody woke up to drink milk. Drank. After drinking she felt energised and started cajoling her parents to play with her. Her mother did not respond as she fell off to sleep while her father started singing a lullaby to her. Do you know which song he sang as a lullaby? Chandrabindoo Band's 'Ghum Ghum classroom....pashey khola janla'... Her mother couldn't help but to chuckle to this innovative lullaby before drifting off to sleep again.

Kids grow up and during the rebelling adolescent years ask their parents, 'What have you done for us?' The parents keep quiet for how would they explain the anxious days and nights spent since their infancy to raise them up into healthy human beings.

Never judge a new mother. She is still learning the ropes of motherhood. Amidst spending ill-slept days and recovering from a major surgery of her life, she would always want the best for her child. If you can't empathize with her, don't, but don't laugh and mock at her initial shortcomings.

What is of more idiocy than to wake up a sleeping baby who felt asleep only after a lot of effort? So, we walk like thieves in our own home, speak, advice, laugh, express anger and anxiety in sign language once the baby sleeps off. My father used to joke, 'Don't wake up the sleeping lion.' Now I know the true meaning of the saying, well, atleast, in my present perspective. ☺️

The term 'Fourth Trimester' is used to explain the first three months of a baby. In this initial period, a baby adjusts himself or herself to the immediate environment. This environment is very different from the environment he or she stayed for the last 9 months. This trimester is also a test for his or her new parents. Their patience, perseverance, instinct, perception, compatibility, endurance..... everything is tested. Today, we three, did a group hug, and patted each other's back for successfully passing the tests of the Fourth Trimester. There will be many more examinations thrown to us by Life, but these three months will always be special, indeed.

Whichever lesson one learns in one's life, never gets wasted. I learned stitching in school's SUPW classes but could never bring myself to like it. Today, the very lessons on stitching came to my use. I managed to make a swaddling cloth for my daughter. Though the work would get a D grade from Mita miss and my mother would have given me a good scolding if she could see the shabby 'run' or 'kaantha' stitches on the cloth, but, this shabby work will remind me of my SUPW lessons learned in childhood. 😊 😊

Yesterday afternoon, my daughter wasn't dozing off to sleep even after a lot of effort. As I paced across the room with her in my lap (this is the last resort to make her sleep), I saw my mother in the photo frame. She seemed to laugh out loud on my futile attempts. I started crying and then I could visualize my mother working hard at home as well as in her workplace while raising us, me and my brother, like a strict parent would do. The visualisation consoled me. My daughter was asleep too. I murmured, 'If only were you here today...Why did you go away after all?'

Today, as I was surfing through the posts of one of the baby care apps I follow, one of the posts caught my attention. The post was about a baby contest and it read "My Cutest Baby Contest". Now, each and every baby is cute. They mean the world to their respective parents. What is the point in dragging them into silly competitions from a tender age to prove how cute or pretty they are? Aren't we metamorphosing them into racing rats with this sort of gesture? Let's raise our children in such a way so that they find happiness in simplest of things. Let's ensure them a happy and carefree childhood.

My two cents to the people thinking about having babies will be to have them before they cross their 30s. No, not for the fertility issues, but for the physical strains they need to take after the babies arrive. 😆 😆 . If the people dare to follow my example, please also stay prepared to sit with the hotbags post lunches and post dinners. P.S: This is my personal opinion and I am sorry if the opinion hurt anyone. I am only trying to lighten up my baby blues.

An ocean of patience. Easy instalments of 8 hours sleep and sleeping with specs on the eyes. Period

Hope all girls would have their mothers around them when they become mothers too for you cannot express or bear the pain if your mother is not alive when you become a mother yourself.

The baby wants to express her hunger so she cries. When you start to feed her, she won't stop crying and she would initially resist your attempts to feed her. Hilarious! Isn't it? My family members say that she has inherited her mother's propensity to get angry when hungry...I don't deny it though. I can only imagine the scenario when she will grow up. People around us have to deal with two angry hungry women.